Tribute to Cynthia A. Brown

"And The Last Trump Shall Sound!"
She blew the trumpet! Wow! Did she blow!
LORD GOD! It is my prayer that I realize and recognize that she was Yours before she was a daughter, sister, wife, mother!

She was Yours before I ever knew her!
Thank you for placing her so delicately into all whose path she crossed!
Now, we need your strength for the legacy and love of her husband, daughters, mother, brothers, family and friends!
She and Marc named their daughters Destiny and Journey.
Destiny means where one is going and Journey means where one is!
Thank you for her!

Love In Slices!

Love In Slices!

I use to think that love came whole! No matter what love was the whole thing, but as I grow more and more... 

it looks like love comes in slices!

One piece there, another over there. Why?

Jesus did not slice His love! He died for the whole!

Whosoever is the whole!

Why do we love in slices? Life is not a slice of cake or pie, love is not either.

AND, when you slice... who gets cut and who stays?

Lord Jesus! Help?

John 3:16 &17

I Found My Voice!

 I Found My Voice!

I had to forgive the obstacle, I have to let it go! I want revenge and I so want to fight back, but I found my voice.

It is not like my voice was gone. I just did not know how or when to use it.

Then, I had to preach and the nonsense that blocked me became the stepping stone that promoted me!

Thank You to the crazy, cruel way that I had to get here, somehow you helped!

HINT! To all the underdogs! Find your voice in spite of the pain.

AND! Do not let the pain of the past keep you from future blessings.  Sometimes it is the problems that promote.

I can make it from here!

I can make it from here!

You had to go, it was not your choice!  It was certainly not mine ! It was your time, a window of time!

I wish I had one more moment, one more day, one more chance to look out a window and watch you walk to the car, or watch you come back in the house!

I did not want to see you leave. I did not want to say goodbye!

Let's talk about grief! It hurts! A whole lot.

It makes you search your self for personal blame! Was it my fault or neglect?

When all is said and done. When all the flowers fade and all the people have left!

It is not your neglect, it is what happens on the blind side!

Yet, grief will not numb or eclipse my present or future!  "The reality is that you will grieve forever.  You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it.  You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered.  You will be whole again but, you will never be the same.  Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to."  (Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and John Kessler)

I can make it from here!

Grief! Powerful!

I can make it from here!

A Tribute to Ruby Dee!

Ruby a precious stone!

She was precious to stage, screen, civil rights and womanhood!

Poised, talented, beautiful, she was Ruby!

She made up an unbeatable combination with her husband Ossie!

The Book of Proverbs asked " who can find a virtuous wife her price is far above rubies the heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain" (Proverbs 31: 10-11)

Her life, love, and legacy will always be outstanding!

Ruby a precious stone!

A precious memory! A precious stone!

She was an example of excellence and truth!

Ruby a precious stone!

Unsung

Unsung! She is unsung! She did not make the headlines of newspapers!
She was not on Good Morning America! No one will announce her name for audiences to applaud!
Sewing a dress! Making fruit salad, or hummingbird bread! Stitches on a quilt!
Classical music! Practice your scales!
It's the Little Things!
The little things that I remember!
Putting out the trash! Shoveling the snow! Putting a band-aid on my cut finger.
Opening the car door.
It's the little things!
Have you ever cried?
Tears from past years? Tears so old that they are dry, yet they are tears?
Grief! Mourning! It hurts so bad inside.
Good times! Music! Dancing!
Food. Fights. Friends. Family. Foes.
Passports! Guns! Jim Crow! Dogs! Water hoses!
19th Street Baptist Church! 30 night revival!
Unsung! Mrs. Barbara Ann Walker!
"The work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance forever. Isaiah 32:17

To Be Continued! A Tribute to Maya Angelo!

It was required reading for a class, "I Know Why A Caged Bird Sings".

It was and is so precious, I have often wondered what is the song?

What does a caged bird sing?

Is it a lullaby?

Is it the blues?

Is it a ballard?

What does a caged bird sing?

Whatever it is! I found my voice because Maya made a choice when to use hers!

So, I am going to sing!

Thank You Maya!

I Got The Blues!

I love music and I consider myself a frustrated musician. I sing a little bit, but I cannot play any instruments ("All I can play is the radio!").  However, that does not stop me from composing songs , and I realized all of my songs are (funny) blues songs!

Birthday Blues! (In memory of my late husband, best friend, favorite cheerleader and critic! He never liked being reminded of his birthday)

Happy Birthday Baby! You don't look old to me! (2x's)
Go on and have a Happy Birthday, and let your mind be free!

Now, age is just a number! It don't mean a thing! I said age is just a number it really don't mean a thing!

Cause when you consider the option, you might as well just go on and sing!

Happy Birthday Baby! You don't look old to me! (2x's)
Go on and have a Happy Birthday, and let your mind be free!

Jury Duty Blues! (Another time when Bill was called for jury duty, and he did not want to go!)

My baby done left me! I got the jury duty blues!  (2x's)
He done gone and got sequestered! I just don't know what to do!

Even in the most unwanted and unpleasant situations! Compose a funny blues song. Sing it to yourself. Look forward to tomorrow!

(I would love to hear Mr. B. B. King sing these songs!)

Are You Ready?

Are You Ready?

Ready to die?

How many funerals have you been to?

How many times have you wondered, when will it be me?

What will the preacher say about me? What is the text?

There are stages of death and grief!

Reality check. Death has no age, color, gender, nationality.

Death is just that death!

An illness, accident, or natural cause it is closer than you think.

There is no escape! Are you insured or assured?

Reality check!

Death is not just for old people!

Are you ready?

Psalm 116:15  "Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints".

My Daddy's Wallet

It is either in his pocket or on the dresser! (I don't get to hold it like Mommy's purse)
I wonder what is in there?
It is bulging, brown and needs a rubber band to stay closed.
I see a pack of Alka Seltzer, it is blue and white.
I see some dollar bills, they are green.
I see a toothpick, it is tan.
I see quarters, they are silver.
I see a lot of business cards.
I see torn movie tickets, they are yellow.
My Daddy's Wallet
It is boring!
Think I'll go and watch television!

My Mommy's Purse!

Sitting here holding my Mommy's purse! The church clerk is reading a long list of announcements. This purse is so heavy, and I am so bored! I wonder what is in there?

Oh wow!

1 tiny blue bottle of French perfume!

2 sticks of Juicy Fruit chewing gum!

3 pieces of peppermint candy!

4 lint balls

5 ticket stubs

6 books of S & H green stamps

7 family pictures inside the wallet

8 keys on a ring

9 piece manicure set with file, nail clipper, emery board, tweezer, clear finger nail polish, safety pin, lipstick, comb, brush

10 dollars in her wallet, with driver's license and social security card

The church clerk is finished with the announcements! Now it is time for testimonies! I am so bored. Think I'll go to sleep.

Quilts and Questions!

Quilts!
So warm, made from scraps and fragments of cloth. Leftover memories in a frame of fabric.
Quilts!
So comfortable and safe, when sickly and tired, somehow there is a feeling of wholeness and help.
Quilts!
A covering of prayer and passion. Glee and giggles. Sleeping and snoring. Dreams and desires.
Questions!
Are you a blessing or a curse?
Questions!
Can you take back a word, after it has been spoken?
Questions!
Can you take back a day, after it has been lived?
Questions!
Do you know Jesus?
Does Jesus know you?
Quilts and Questions?

A Tribute to Dr. Martin L. King

He preached a theology of action and not just theory! He went to their universities and studied their philosophies.

He took them to school on the campus of decency and non- violence.

He used the rhetoric and poetry of slave owners (known as Founding Fathers) against their lifestyle of "hatred and in supposition".

He proclaimed justice through social action. He preached it, lived it, loved it.

He spoke against the war in Vietnam Nam! He marched against segregation in the South!

Read his words, "we shall match your capacity to inflict suffering by our capacity to endure suffering". 

(Excerpt from a "Christmas Sermon on Peace" December 1967)

His words and passion mirror the words and passion of Jesus Christ who is the original theologian!

Dr. King was born in the heartland of the South! Atlanta, Georgia.

He was killed because he loved people!

Jesus Christ was born in the heartland of heaven in a stable.

He was killed because He loved sinners!

About My Father's Business

A composite testimony of the family members of preachers/pastors.

Even though this quote is a passage where Jesus as a child said to Mary and Joseph, there are times when it is used as an excuse for preachers/pastors to not be present in and at places that were personal and important to family members. 

"Why do I have to be exposed and an embarrassing illustration in the sermon? When do I get the microphone to tell what you did, said, or did not do and said?"

Living under public scrutiny is painful, crazy, and real. Church services, banquets, funerals, revival meetings, weddings, church meetings. Got to smile when you want to stay home and watch a movie or play a board game. 

What about the basketball game that I am playing in? 
Or, the science fair, the concert, or going to my prom? 
Why are you not in the pictures? (Didn't Jesus say "come apart and rest?")

The saying is 

"Preacher's kids are the worst ones!" 

"The preacher's wife thinks she is better than everyone!" 

What about just being regular, normal, human, (whatever that means) even when we have to be about the Father's business?

When Jesus as a child said this, it was a moment with His family, not a rude, and selfish reason of escape and denial!
About My Father's Business?

A Reflection of Myself!

Caterpillar or butterfly?

There are a lot of ways to see a reflection!

It could be a body of water. It could be a mirror. It could be a photograph.  

It could be an ugly worm that crawls or a beautiful insect that flies.

It could be a manger in a stall or a cross on a city dump.

When you look, what do you see?

Water is fluid and in motion, so sometimes the reflection is wavy almost distorted.

A mirror is crisp and still, just a glance at that time!

A photograph captures the moment, of setting and glare.

Caterpillar or butterfly?

Sometimes what you see is not who you really are!

The question is where will I find the best reflection?

Did you look in that manger? Have you tried Calvary?

There is no better place to see a reflection! Your reflection!

A Tribute to Nelson Mandela!

For the dignity and quiet strength that he demonstrated...

For the powerful lesson of how to forgive...

For the way he touched all people, no matter age, color, gender...

For knowing when to speak and when to listen...

For how he loved music, and dance, and soccer...

Well done good and faithful servant! Well done!

My Next Favorite Prayer!

Lyrics to a song by Deneice Williams titled "My Soul Desire: 

Lord, when you placed your hand upon me, I knew that I would never be the same!

For in that moment, I became your servant and since that time. I will never be the same!

My soul desire is to be used, an empty vessel longing to be filled by you.

My soul desire is to serve you Lord. 

To do your perfect will to work each day and build your kingdom. 

This is my soul desire.

Lord, I do not seek to claim the glory. 

I only want to be under your control.

For I know that you are alone are worthy and it's you that placed this longing in my soul!

My soul desire is to be used, an empty vessel longing to be filled by you. 

My soul desire is to serve you Lord. 

To do your perfect will to work each day and build your kingdom. 

This is my soul desire. 

Jesus, this is my soul desire!

In the mighty name of Jesus, I pray with excitement and joy and am waiting on You!

Amen

My Favorite Prayer!

Oh God my Father!

I need you right now. I need you to calm me down, so that you can fill me up with your power, your presence, and with your Spirit!

Be in my eyes and in my seeing. 
Be in my mouth and in my speaking. 
Be in my ears and in my hearing. 
Be in my heart and in my living! 

- A stanza from poem I learned in elementary school, I cannot remember the poet's name

Search me O God and know my heart. 
Try me and know my thoughts. 
See if there be any wicked way in me and lead me to the way everlasting

- Psalm 139: 23 & 24

I am weak and I need thy strength and power. 
To help me over my weakest hour. 
Let me through the darkness thy face to see. 

Lead me, O Lord, lead me.

Help me tread in the paths of righteousness? 
Be my aid when satan and sin oppress. 
I am putting all my trust in you. 
Lead me, O Lord, lead me?

I am lost if you take your hand from me. 
I am blind without your light to see. 
Lord, just always me your servant be? 
Lead me, O Lord, lead me?

Lead me, guide me, along the way? 
Lord, if you lead me, I cannot stray! 
Lord, let me walk each day with Thee? 
Lead me O Lord, lead me? 

-Doris M. Akers-1922

The Holidays and Grief

While the Holidays are upon us and they bring with them a certain level of excitement and sentiment, they also bring with them sadness for those who are mourning. 

Grief has no time or calendar, it could be recent or a long time.

Grief is a very powerful emotion, there is an aching void and emptiness in the heart and home. A treasured loved one is gone! 

What do I do? 

How do I pack away the clothes, the toys, the memories?

Should I pack them away? 

How do I file the necessary papers? 

Death certificates, ugh! 

Maybe if I had just fluffed the pillow or listened, then it might have been different. 

Is it my fault?

I cannot find my God...

There is healthy grief and unhealthy grief, during the holidays and in the off season. The difference is what activities and what company to keep. Avoid negative people, and situations that are dangerous to body, mind, and Spirit, (and especially bank account).
For those who face the holidays and look in the mirror of loneliness and grief, do not shy away from or even hesitate to reach out to someone with a safe and willing ear, an open heart and someone who lets you express yourself, and you know it is safe. 

Get it out! 

Cry it out! 

Scream it out!

Pray it out!

"Savior lead me lest I stray. Gently lead me all the way. I am safe when by Thy side. I would in Thy love abide. Lead me, lead me, Savior lead me lest I stray. Gently down the stream of time, lead me Savior, all the way?"

"Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for Thou art with me. Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me"